Not made for grinding

I recently had a chance to review my Full Tilt SNG stats for the month of May. And here are the results according to sharkscope.

Games played : 106 games
Limits played : Combination of $6+0.50s and $11+1s
Ave ROI : 34%
Profit Made in FTP site for May : approx $300

*I do not include rakeback in any of my computations.

Of course, I played some games in the other sites but I would say that these only total up to somewhere around 30 to 40 games. So overall for May, I played a total of around 140 SNG games give or take together with an occasional MTT tournament.

If you analyze my stats, the logical conclusion to be made is that I should play more games. If I can maintain this level of ROI, wouldn't I be making a killing just by playing more games ?

Unfortunately for me, I believe the answer is NO. Believe it or not, that 140 something games is the most I've played in a month from the time I started playing online poker. YEP.

I regularly only play around 3 or 4 games a night and to me this number is just right as it falls somewhere around 1 to 2 hours of playing (2 tables at one time). During these 3 or 4 games, I can really stay focused and more often than not do well. I've tried stretching out my poker playing some nights and what happens is that I end up playing sub optimal as I'm already sleepy. Working a full work day and battling Metro Manila traffic does suck out some of the excess energy I may have. Considering that I don't play everyday due to other commitments and you can see that 140 games is a lot for my schedule.

I will not deny that like most poker players, I've had the dream of playing poker for a living. And stats like these reinforce this belief. But I've realized as I grow more experienced in this game that I am not made for grinding. I go on tilt quite easily and I don't think I have the stamina to stay in front of my screen more than a few hours at a time.

In hindsight, this actually ends up protecting my bankroll. My full schedule forces me to quit after a few games even if I have this intense desire to still play after a losing session to make up what is lost for the day. Forced to quit because I have to go to bed sounds wimpy, but that is essentially what happens.

So will I forever be the casual player that I am now? Most probably. It is nice to know that I can always fall back on poker to earn a few hundred dollars every month. And that is I think what makes the game enjoyable for me. If I had to do it for a living and go through the stress of suckers sucking out every few minutes of every hour of every day. I'll probably curse the game and quit.

But to be honest, the poker dream will always be in the backburner simmering. But my version is now different than before. I don't really want to play poker for a living anymore. That's a brutal life. Guys quitting their jobs with a bankroll and grinding day in and day out is not for me. I'll probably die of some cardiac thingie a few months down the road.

My poker dream is now basically hoping for that one big score. That someday, you end up getting all the balls bouncing your way, all the planets aligned, all the gods listening and you suck out with your pocket fives against KKs to win an eight figure payout. (converted to peso of course)

And once it does happen. I pack my bags, quit everything, invest the money in some kind of stable investment, live off the interest in some sleepy beachside town in Palawan with my family. And play poker for fun. That for me is the ultimate poker dream. =D